35 weeks is when my clock starts ticking. I don't want a 35 week baby, but I'd be o.k. with a 37/38 week baby. Since the twins were delivered at 35 weeks, somewhere in the depths of my mind pregnancy is over at this point. I might even accept a January birthday, which I've been opposed to until now. I successfully moved the Sailor's flight home up without breaking the bank, double checked that my step-mom is staying in town for the rest of the month, informed my father that going to a friend's destination wedding the weekend I deliver would be unforgivable, and even semi-packed my hospital bag (post to come). I'm ready with a capital 'R'. The only thing left to do before baby arrives is have a nice dinner out and see a grown up movie with my man. I shutter to think how hard it will be in the future to find and afford a trustworthy babysitter for four kids so that we can go out.
Last night I woke at 2 A.M and made the mistake of reading delivery room horror stories on TheBump.com. Most involved pushy mother-in-laws and uninvited men entering the room at inopportune times - not that I have to worry about either. My mother-in-law would never behave that way, and the men in my life would probably sooner die than walk in on something like that. It still gave me nightmares though, and my mind started to wander. I became resentful again that my own mother has been absent for all of my pregnancies and deliveries. Her reaction to my pregnancy announcements and births tend to be one word- "O.K." Reading these delivery stories, the ladies mothers seemed to be the rock that held them together through delivery. They were there to comfort and protect, and especially celebrate. Although it was our choice to put up a super boundary when it comes to my mother, and I couldn't ask for a better role model for myself and the girls than my step-mom, the events that forced us to this decision are still fresh and frustrating. There are times when a girl just wishes she had Mom around.
I realized that even though Anna's delivery was a total success, the twins delivery was one of those horror stories, and this one could go either way. I guess you expect that after doing this twice, you become numb to the nerves, but you don't. It's still unique and intimidating. Fortunately, situations when my anxiety kicks in, the Sailor is usually calm as a cucumber and totally laid back. When I started breathing heavy and tearing up before going into the O.R. to have Anna, he just smiled and said "Relax, you've done this before". Although sometimes I complain that he's too laid back, in reality we compliment each other in that sense.
iPhone Dump : We're pretty boring lately ;)
|35 week belly|
|Belly : Window stickers : Pooh Bear ABC App : iPad time : Last moments with Dad before the airport : Dancing to Justin Beiber on NYE|
|Two weeks apart is nothing to us, but goodbyes are still hard|
|3/4 of our girls : Family game time : Pin up reading : Juice fest : Carrot juice : Gwen helping Dad|
|Baby juicer : stocking up at the farmers market : Play dough : More play dough : birthday flowers : Picking up sushi with the Sailor|
|While the twins are getting too cool to openly care, Anna is obsessed with Daddy now|
|We wash our face like big girls now. I'm pheklempt.|
|Bella singing to an over-tired baby while we wait for her final potty trip of the night.|
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