Remember my post from November, about my frustration with women who knock c-sections so hard?
Link: "To My Pregnant Readers"
I'm not glorifying c-sections in any way. Although I've never had a vaginal birth, I don't doubt for a second that a nice, quick, natural birth would be preferable to surgery. Alas, that's not in the cards for all of us. I was hoping for the option of a VBAC [vaginal birth after c-section] with Anna, but when we moved to Florida mid-pregnancy, that option was quickly squashed. Unless you're willing to give birth with a mid-wife at home, or in a birthing center, it's very difficult to find an OB in Florida that is willing to give you a VBAC. Now we're in Texas, and since I'm getting my tubes tied after this baby, another c-section just makes sense. For those that have never had a c-section, I thought I'd share my experience and my hopes/plans for this next one to help make it a success.
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First: Like I said in my last Bumpdate, I went into the hospital with the twins at 34 weeks with pre-eclampsia. They held off as long as they could and told me at 35 weeks that we needed to have the babies. They gave me the option of trying for a vaginal birth, but warned that because I was so weak from the medication, and because the second twin wasn't head down, there was a good chance that I could deliver twin A vaginally and have to deliver twin B via c-section. Or, that I could labor for several hours and have a c-section for both anyway. I'm sure a lot of women would choose the option that gives them the best shot at a vaginal birth, understandably. I looked around at the military doctors (Army hospital) and frankly, bitchy nurses, and considered that my young husband and I had no idea what we were doing. I opted for a c-section. Here's what went wrong...
After the birth they took the twins straight to the NICU before I even got a look at their faces. They took me to a recovery room with 7 other women. The other women spent about 45 minutes in there before being taken to private rooms to be with their newborns. Because of the continued medication for pre-e, and the surgery, I spent about 28 hours in that room. During those 28 hours there was a constant rotation of other women and their visitors passing through. During those 28 hours they wouldn't even let me stand up. They bathed me in bed with nothing but a curtain between me and all of the other women and their visitors, and made me lay flat on my back for the entire time. The Sailor took video of the twins in the NICU and brought the video camera to me to show me what they looked like. It was like being in a horror movie. I was alone, in pain, and had an empty uterus with no babies to hold. They eventually gave us a private room and I was able to visit the twins in the NICU. We stayed in the hospital for another week before returning home. Within a few days of returning home I got the "epidural headache". For those that don't know, it's basically a 24 hour a day headache that no medicine will cure. It's similar to a bad migraine. The only solution is to be flat on your back. So, for about 10 days after returning home, I was flat on my back again. Even getting up to use the restroom brought me to tears and made me nauseated. I've been told that this happens when the epidural is administered improperly. All of this laying around, and the complications, lengthened my recovery time and the abdominal discomfort lasted for several weeks. *Not All C-Sections Are Like This* In hindsight, and after more experience, the Sailor and I realized that this hospital employed a number of practices that we find unacceptable and it gave me a list of questions and preferences for my second time around.
Second: Anna was scheduled to be born at 38 or 39 weeks, depending on which due date you acknowledged. There was discussion about that the entire pregnancy. I was healthy and active leading right up to D-Day. We went into the hospital at 6 AM and she was born less than two hours later. When she was pulled out she was immediately set in front of me so I could see her face. Then she was taken to a station where she was cleaned up, cord cut by the Sailor, and swaddled. He brought her right back to me and held her by my face so I could touch and kiss her while they sewed me up. They wheeled me into a recovery room for 45 minutes while she went with the Sailor to the nursery for her weight and bath. We were taken to a private room after the 45 minute recovery, and she was immediately brought in, and we laid skin-to-skin and attempted breast feeding. As soon as the nurses removed the catheter (I know...gross, but it's part of the process) I'd hand her off to the Sailor from time to time so that I could get up and walk around, put a little make up on, grab my camera, shower, eat, etc. Even if I had nowhere to go, I'd get up and walk. I took Motrin for the discomfort for the first 24 hours, and stopped the pain medication after that. We left the hospital the next afternoon. I was able to walk, go up and down stairs carefully, etc. I felt great and by the third week I was antsy to start exercising, although I waited until 4 weeks and started with light cardio. My post partum bleeding was minimal with all of my c-sections, and my scar is light, low, and has never been a source of insecurity. I also have complete sensation outside and inside down there, even on the scar. No permanent damage ladies ;)
Third: It's simple; I want it to be as similar to my last c-section as possible. I want to see the baby right away, assuming there are no complications. I want the Sailor to be with her when she's not with me. I want privacy before and after surgery. I want to be allowed to walk, shower, etc. as soon as possible after. The only thing I would change is the nurse vs. lactation consultant battle that went on with Anna. One minute the lactation consultant would come in and encourage me and help her latch, then 20 minutes later the nurse would come in and say "let's just give her a quick bottle to hold her over". I gave in and ultimately Anna only got the first week or so of breastmilk. She never really learned to latch and I'm suspicious that it's because we started giving her those easy newborn bottles from the first day. This time I hope to avoid a bottle for as long as possible, and if the nurses start pushing it, I won't be too shy to say "No dear. Get out."
Second: Anna was scheduled to be born at 38 or 39 weeks, depending on which due date you acknowledged. There was discussion about that the entire pregnancy. I was healthy and active leading right up to D-Day. We went into the hospital at 6 AM and she was born less than two hours later. When she was pulled out she was immediately set in front of me so I could see her face. Then she was taken to a station where she was cleaned up, cord cut by the Sailor, and swaddled. He brought her right back to me and held her by my face so I could touch and kiss her while they sewed me up. They wheeled me into a recovery room for 45 minutes while she went with the Sailor to the nursery for her weight and bath. We were taken to a private room after the 45 minute recovery, and she was immediately brought in, and we laid skin-to-skin and attempted breast feeding. As soon as the nurses removed the catheter (I know...gross, but it's part of the process) I'd hand her off to the Sailor from time to time so that I could get up and walk around, put a little make up on, grab my camera, shower, eat, etc. Even if I had nowhere to go, I'd get up and walk. I took Motrin for the discomfort for the first 24 hours, and stopped the pain medication after that. We left the hospital the next afternoon. I was able to walk, go up and down stairs carefully, etc. I felt great and by the third week I was antsy to start exercising, although I waited until 4 weeks and started with light cardio. My post partum bleeding was minimal with all of my c-sections, and my scar is light, low, and has never been a source of insecurity. I also have complete sensation outside and inside down there, even on the scar. No permanent damage ladies ;)
Third: It's simple; I want it to be as similar to my last c-section as possible. I want to see the baby right away, assuming there are no complications. I want the Sailor to be with her when she's not with me. I want privacy before and after surgery. I want to be allowed to walk, shower, etc. as soon as possible after. The only thing I would change is the nurse vs. lactation consultant battle that went on with Anna. One minute the lactation consultant would come in and encourage me and help her latch, then 20 minutes later the nurse would come in and say "let's just give her a quick bottle to hold her over". I gave in and ultimately Anna only got the first week or so of breastmilk. She never really learned to latch and I'm suspicious that it's because we started giving her those easy newborn bottles from the first day. This time I hope to avoid a bottle for as long as possible, and if the nurses start pushing it, I won't be too shy to say "No dear. Get out."
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2 comments:
Good for you! Sounds like you have thought long and hard about this...and have learned from experience. I have only one daughter. I had her eight years ago. I wanted natural all the way. I had a midwife and natural birthing center in the heart of NYC, where I was living at the time. Then, at 7 months, we moved to an outer borough for affordability and larger digs...and I decided to go with another ob-gyn that was closer. I did not realize what a bad decision that was. My daughter was two weeks late and I was forced into labor with pitocin in the hospital...with no pain meds. After 24 hours of laboring this way and only progressing 4cm...because they would not let me out of the bed to move, walk, and LABOR naturally...I was given a c-section. I did not see my baby until five hours later. After her birth, her father held her by my head and I gave her one kiss...no holding, no skin...and they ignored my wishes for breast and no pacifier or bottle. I hate them all for what they did to me. They stole mine and my daughters hours together that we will never get back. It is unforgivable. If I could do it all over again, I would make sure I had it MY way, not theirs. Thank you for this post. People who advocate natural childbirth...I'm right there with them..but we can't always have it the way we want it. However, we can be strong and exercise our control where we can. God bless...Can't wait to here how it goes for you and I'm holding you in prayer for a birth where YOU are in control and all goes smoothly and as planned. xo
Good for you for knowing exactly what kind of birth you'd like to have, and not being afraid to speak up! I'm a doula-in-training, and I think a lot of people think all doula's are hippie, vaginal birth, no medication junkies, but in reality, all I want to see is mom's-to-be advocate for their own best interest (and that of the baby) and be empowered and happy with their birth. It's one of the first of many times we mama's need to know our options, and do what works for our family! I hope you have a wonderful experience, and GOOD LUCK with the breastfeeding! (I agree - keeping her off the bottle and encouraging tons of bfing and skin to skin is the best way to get off to a successful start!).
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